Chapter 3: The Remorse Room
At the end of the hall on the third floor in the Princess' ward was the
remorse room. Only a chair and a small table were furnished by the
window in this tiny room. Although it was meant to facilitate her
remorse, Estes rather liked the room even in her childhood. From the
window she could see the kitchen and warehouse in the backyard. Past
the warehouse, she could also see the back gate where an old guard was
sitting on a stool. Servants and maids were going to and fro in the
yard where fully matured Megumi trees were making rich groves, almost like
abundant forests, in the corners of the yard.
"Professor will come here soon with his history books."
Koma, Estes' lady-in-waiting, came in and told her. Then, she lowered
her voice,
"Its
good that no one found out about our adventure last night."
Koma used to work for Estes' mother, Queen Mistes. When the queen
died, Koma became Estes' nanny and practically her mother. Nowadays,
when Estes decided to sneak out of the castle, Koma accompanied her.
"Indeed."
Estes
smiled, responding to Koma. Then, she sat by the window, leaning her
head on the wall. She saw Koma leaving the room, and began to recall
things that happened the night before.
When the Megumi flowers closed and the lamp men started to light up the
street, Estes and Koma were walking on an alley behind the public bath.
Estes saw someone sitting on the pavement ahead them, but could not figure
out if the person was a man or woman. The person was wrapped in a
cloak and the hood hid his or her face completely. A small dish was
placed in front of the person's knees.
"A
street fortuneteller. Useless folks."
Koma
whispered to Estes and quickened her pace.
"Let's
hurry back to the castle. It's getting late."
When they
were about to pass the fortuneteller, however, the fortuneteller said to
Estes in a feeble old woman's voice.
"Young
lady, please let me see you well. I can tell you anything that you
want me to tell for five Megumi seeds."
The voice
was so dry and weak; Estes stopped and stared at the fortuneteller
curiously.
"We need to go home, please."
Koma urged Estes and pulled her sleeve, but the fortuneteller spoke to Estes
again with an even more desperate tone this time.
"I
beg you to let me see you well, noble lady. You don't need to be
afraid."
Then, the
fortune teller, with her face still completely hidden in the hood, looked up
at Estes and groaned,
"Oh.
A change will come soon. It will come with a living creature. A
creature that lived long, long ago."
Estes was now captivated by the fortuneteller, being drawn to her words.
The fortuneteller continued mumbling.
"Yes, it was an ancient animal. What was its name? I can't
remember well. It has been so long. Let me think. Was it a lion?
Yes, lion, the animal with a mane."
"A lion? Come with a lion?" Estes wondered. The Lions were
legendary animals. Although the historical data indicated that lions
actually lived in the era of on-the-ground, no one in the kingdom had ever
seen one.
The
fortuneteller's weathered hand appeared from the cloak and stretched towards
Estes. Estes saw the old eyes flash deep in the hood.
"Light
and shadow are crossing."
The
fortunetelling continued.
"The
shadow of a lion is seen in the center."
Suddenly the old dry hand gripped Estes' soft arm. Estes recoiled but
the old woman did not let her go.
"Yes. The lion with brown skin, golden hair and eyes. The lion is
merging with your shadow. Soon, you are going to meet the lion to be
bound for life."
"Do
I meet a lion?"
"Enough of this nonsense!"
Angrily, Koma stepped in and threw five seeds into the dish.
"We must go. Young lady!"
She started dragging Estes to the main street towards the castle."
"Noble
lady, just be careful. Go your own way. The lion will pursue his
destiny. Then, we will all be saved."
The
fortuneteller told Estes quietly from behind.
"What does that mean?"
Estes turned back and asked, but what she saw this time was the
fortune teller, completely wrapped in her cloak, sitting on the street
indifferently as if she had never spoken to Estes.
"Then, does it really mean that I am bound to Rije?" Estes shivered,
still leaning on the window of the remorse room. Her gloomy eyes saw
the servants and maids carrying out the Emy's family flags out of the
warehouse towards the front yard. She sighed.
"There
is no way out."
Blankly,
she continued watching people working busily in the yard.
"They
are so old."
Estes
sighed again. Many of the servants and maids were as old as her
father. Their hair was gray and their faces were wrinkled deeply. One thousand years had passed since the Sacred King founded the underground
kingdom. During those years everything was governed in accordance with the
rules written in the Book. The Book stipulated an absolute monarchy
and declared that kingship is divine. Jurisdiction, legislation, and
administration belonged to the King solely. The Book also covered
every aspect of life necessary to sustain the kingdom within the limited
space and resources, for example: the production, ration and distribution of
food and commodities, population control, and education. Literacy and
high-level education was allowed only to the royals, aristocrats and
bureaucrats, and occupation was patrimonial. The Book did not welcome
changes. It believed that even the smallest detail in their society
should not change so that social order could be peacefully preserved while
consuming minimum. Bound by the Book, the kingdom created the perfect
recycle but stagnant society in the end. This slow social progress
somehow affected people physically as well. Their longevity increased
and the rate of birth declined. More than half of the population was
older than 100 years old, and the number of children was still declining.
Men and women that Estes was seeing through the window were also working
with their stiff legs and arms. Being deprived of sunshine for
generations, their skin was as white as marble and lifeless.
"Things must be different from 1000 years ago. Yet, I am sitting here all
the same. I'll be most likely suffering the same ordeal that my mother went
through."
Estes' mind wandered back to the days in her childhood.
She could recall the scene ten years ago still so vividly. Mistes was
lying on a bed in her room, surrounded with her physicians and midwives.
A beautifully woven cloth was covering the Queen's body, but even the beauty
could not hide her abnormally protruded belly which was moving up and down
painfully. Having labor six times mostly unsuccessfully, Mistes looked
no more than a worn-out woman rather than a queen. Nevertheless, she
tried to smile at Estes when she saw Koma bring her daughter into the room.
"Come here, my girl."
Mistes
stretched her arm and patted Estes' cheek. Feeling her mother's gentle
hand, Estes smiled.
"Don't you worry. This will be over soon. Go back to your room and wait for
me."
Then, Koma took Estes out of the room.
Soon after that, the labor started. It continued three days and three
nights. Even in her own room, Estes could hear her mother moaning and
could neither eat nor sleep. During all those days and nights, she
kept clinging to Koma. On the fourth day, Koma took her to Mistes'
room again.
There were many more people in the room this time, including the king and
ministers. Prince Mavin, Estes' older brother, was in his wheelchair, and
his steward Pedo was standing behind it. Everyone looked ghostly and
no word was heard.
The chief physician was holding a small bundle wrapped with a cloth.
Estes held a breath when she saw a bloody anvil lying on a table near
Mistes' bed. Nobody seemed to notice how shocked little Estes was, not
even her father or Koma. In silence everyone was staring at the Queen
in the bed. There Estes found her mother thin and shriveled. Her
mother's eyes were deeply sunken and her complexion was dark. Mistes
stretched her arm towards Estes and touched her cheek. Estes shivered.
The touch was different from the one that Estes felt four days ago. It
was dry and coarse. Mistes sadly looked towards the King and
whispered,
"Your Majesty, please don't let Estes go through what I did. I beg
you."
The King nodded without a word. A tear dropped from Mistes' eye and
her hand fell down. Koma held Estes tightly, and sobbing filled the room.
The news of the deceased Queen was announced to the people soon after.
The Book only acknowledged the marriage of kin for the royal family, but it
had been causing certain issues for some time. Lately the royal family
had been witnessing miscarriage, stillbirth, and deformed babies more often
than ever. Those incidents were carefully hidden from the people and
even from some of the royal members. Consequently, not everyone was
aware of the problem while some were concerned. To Estes, seeing her
mother's agony, the problem was keen, and she found herself in a fix.
She feared marriage, but bearing a successor was her duty as a direct
descendant of the Sacred King. Her brother Prince Mavin was physically
weak and their father was not expecting him to have offspring.
"Is Rije really healthy?" thought Estes, recalling Rije's swollen face.
She shook her head in despair. She knew that nothing would change once
the king made up his mind. He was the King more than anything else and
hardly a father. There was always a sense of resignation when she
talked to him.
Professor Karuha knocked on the door. The sound startled Estes.
Her half-closed eyes opened widely, and she came back to reality. At
the very same moment she saw something unusual in the corner of her eyes.
Through the window, in the backyard, two men were pushing a cart filled with
fish. One was a stout old man with a cloth around his head, and the
other was a tall young man. What was unusual about them was their
skin. Both had darker brownish skin, but it was the young man's hair
and eyes that made Estes riveted even further. His hair was thick and
golden, and his eyes, which were curiously looking around the yard, were
also golden.
"The lion with brown skin, golden hair and eyes."
The fortuneteller's words repeated in Estes' mind.
In the yard, the old man said something to the young man, and they both went
into the kitchen while Karuha knocked on the door harder and harder.
Estes hurriedly opened the door, and excitedly said to Karuha who was just
about to complain to her for keeping him waiting.
"Come with me!"
She pulled Karuha's sleeve, went downstairs, and dragged the dumb struck
professor out into the yard.